The doubts that come with writing.

Happy Tuesday everyone! In today's Tidbit Tuesday post I'm going to talk about one thing all writers have and may not want to admit- DOUBT.

The past two weeks have been a bit rough for me. I was doubting everything that has to do with my writing. I mean everything. The process of writing, whether I'd ever write another word, whether I'd ever enjoying writing again, if I wanted to continue to have my agent pursue the large publishing houses with my third book, if any of my publishing decisions thus far were the right ones, if I'd ever become successful as an author. EVERYTHING.

I have a close friend who is also a writer. I expressed the fact that I felt I'd never write again and that was when he very promptly told me that was not possible. I am a writer. It's part of who I am. It's part of my DNA. I've been writing poems and short stories since I was seven years old. I'd spend my summers not splashing around in my in-ground pool, but sitting at my parent's dining room table plucking away on my smith-corona word processor! I mean if that's not a kid who loves to write I don't know what is.

Somewhere along the way I lost the love for it. I lost the joy that came with creating a story. Why? Because of the questions that bogged down my mind.

Is this what a large publisher would find publishable?
Will this story line really hook me the big six?
Is this going to go viral?
Is this going to be the book that gets me noticed?
Is this what the market is buying?
Is this my ticket to being a full time money making author?

So I decided I wasn't going to write anymore. Why? It wasn't making me happy. It didn't feel the same. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was sit and write.

This lasted for all of two weeks. The first creative spark came when my agent suggested I have a book trailer made for Heart on a String. Well I didn't have the money to pay forr one, but after seeing a bunch of examples online I was pretty confident I could do it myself. So I did. And I enjoyed it.

After playing around and searching different stock photos to use in my project I began to get inspired by the pictures. I found a lot of photos that in my mind would work as great covers for some projects I had in the works or had been working on.  Then I came up with an idea for a series. I've always wanted to do a series but since I write mostly contemporary YA that's not a big genre for series. Then I learned more about ways to create a series that can also exist as stand alone novels. Well that was it. I had the idea, then I found the photos that would be the covers for the three book series I came up with.

Now, I don't even have plot lines written for this new series. What I started with was the idea of the series title, then I found photos that inspired me for the covers, then I jotted down the most skeletal outline I've ever written.

I plan on working on this new series this week. I also plan on taking on a new adventure and self-publishing this series. Why self publish? Well, for this project I don't want to feel any of the constraints I've felt when writing books that I know will be put out to the publishing world. I don't want to worry about "will the big 6 like this?" mentality that comes with writing at times.

I want the freedom of word count. Subject. Idea. Creativity. This story in my mind might be a NA- New Adult- piece as well which is something new for me. I might make it more of a novella than a full length piece. I'm not sure yet. But what I do know is that I WANT to write it. That's what's most important right now.

Even if it never leaves the safety of my MacBook Pro files I don't care. I want to write it. Hopefully I'll be able to share it with you soon.

Doubt is normal- your creativity is not. Write without expectations.

What's your biggest doubt about your writing? Please comment below. Please share this post so all the other writers out there know they're not alone!

Here is the link to the book trailer that helped spark me back on track :)

My books